Tag: science fiction

Tentacle

On By Keith ParkerIn Anxiety, Character, Creative Writing, Fiction, Horror, Lovecraft, New Adult, Novel, Science Fiction, YA, Young Adult

A few weeks ago many of us fell in love as the story broke of a free-spirited little New Zealand octopus named Inky, who made his way out his aquarium, ambled across the floor of the research lab, and snaked into a small drain pipe that led to his ancestral home in the Pacific Ocean. Many of us, smitten by a cephalopod of such serious purpose, wonder about his whereabouts, his healthcare, his forwarding address.

Less than a week ago I was talking to an overbearing acquaintance about my latest novel, and mentioned that the book’s primary antagonist is a savage nightmare with tentacles like those of octopi. The acquaintance, concerned by my lack of fundamental biology and spelling, jabbed a finger in midair.

“You couldn’t be more wrong,” he said. “An octopus has arms, not tentacles. And the plural of octopus is octopuses, not octopi.”

He huffed, stomping off.

I puckered my lips, pondered this. Since he was probably correct, I decided that, like a good protagonist, I had to take action. Since Jack Parker and I are the gods of our mythical world of Newtonia, I have decided to create octopi in its oceans. And you know what our octopi possess? Tentacles.

That’s the beauty of being a guy who tells lies for entertainment: I can do whatever the hell I want. Just like Inky.

Peace,

Keith

Wanna read more about Newtonia? Read MADNESS RISING, available for Kindle.

Copyright (c) 2016 Keith Parker

It’s about a girl named Nina who battles a hideous monster

On By Keith ParkerIn Science Fiction1 Comment

Madness Rising – What’s it about? It’s about a girl, named Nina, on a forbidden planet who battles a hideous and dangerous monster.

She also battles her fiancé, who’s become a drunk; her childhood mentor, who’s hearing voices; her own body, which is turning against her; and her robot parents, who’ve been body-snatched by that malign monster.

The small colony where Nina lives looks like a prep school or a small idyllic college. Up until the madness Nina’s life has been ideal. It’s been warm and sunny, full of flirtations and curiosity.  But when the monster attacks her world is suddenly full of terror, violence and nanotechnological diseases.

This is a character-driven young-adult science fiction/horror novel with androids, alcoholics, teasers and tentacles.

Madness Rising, Chapter 1

Madness Rising, Chapter 2

Madness Rising, Chapter 3

Madness Rising, Chapter 4

Madness Rising, Chapter 5

Madness Rising, Chapter 6

Madness Rising, Chapter 7

Madness Rising, Chapter 8

Madness Rising, Chapter 9

Madness Rising, Chapter 10

Madness Rising, Chapter 11
Peace and hair grease,

Keith Parker

This blog is © 2015 Alan Keith Parker. All rights reserved. The chapters in the links above, titled Madness Rising, Chapter XX, where XX is the chapter number, are © 2015 by Alan Keith Parker and Rev. Jack Edward Parker. All rights reserved. 

The TARDIS is everywhere

On By Keith ParkerIn Doctor Who, Fantasy, Humor, Pathfinder, RPGs, Science Fiction, Time Travel3 Comments

tardis-doctor_00370843-1My son recently told me that he’d placed everybody’s favorite box — Doctor Who’s TARDIS — on the fictional planet of Golarion that was developed by Paizo for their Pathfinder role-playing game.  If you’re not familiar with it, Pathfinder (3.75E) is one of the wildly popular successors to the original Dungeons & Dragons game system, which enables you to develop characters and settings to challenge players.  I’ve always loved geography, cartography, etc, so when my son told me about Golarion I was fascinated despite the fact that the planet doesn’t, um, exist.

He did not allow specifically why he chose to add a TARDIS — or the TARDIS, if you will — to the Pathfinder world, and I didn’t ask for fear I’d stymy his creativity.  For what it’s worth, I have tried to play Pathfinder, but I find its rules — skills, feats, AoAs, DCs — a tad overwhelming, particularly since I’m a buttondown-type (see: Raising Arizona).  But he seemed to have the same enthusiasm about Golarion that he has had about Minecraft for the last 2,387 years.  Also for what it’s worth I don’t “get” Minecraft either, but that’s okay; games are for fun.  And he is having fun.

I did ask him, though, where on Golarion he placed the TARDIS.  The setting has many earth-like analogs, and I was curious.  His answer?  “Dad, the TARDIS is everywhere!”

And isn’t that just like a kid?  Obviously it’d be everywhere; it’s a time machine.  In his mind, the entire surface of Golarion — and Earth, and Mars, and his Minecraft world — is covered with blue boxes, shoulder-to-shoulder.  Kinda like dancing cheek-to-cheek, isn’t it?

Until next time, peace,

Keith

Copyright (c) 2013 Keith Parker. All Rights Reserved. All trademarks and copyrights are the property of their respective owners and are used for entertainment purposes only and as provided for by the “Fair Use” copyright clause

Antagonist

On By Keith ParkerIn Creative Writing, Doctor Who, Emotion, Fantasy, Fiction, Science Fiction, Television, Time Travel, TV2 Comments

Doctor_Who_The_Name_of_The_Doctor“Welcome to the final resting place of the cruel tyrant.”

As we usher out Matt Smith and usher in Peter Capaldi as the twelfth Doctor, it’s useful to reflect on just why “The Name of the Doctor” is such a brilliant piece of television science fiction.  In that finale Dr. Simeon makes the assertion (see quote above) about the Doctor’s “reputation.”   The Doctor, in all his incarnations, is the “slaughterer of the ten billion,” the one who wiped out (or will wipe out) the Sycorax, Soloman the Trader, the Cybermen, and the Daleks.

The reason I’m boring you with all this is simple: Most fans of science fiction, fantasy and horror aspire to be creative writers, whether short stories, novels, screenplays, or creative nonfiction.  And it’s worth offering a bit of writing advice to those who do.  Any story has to have an protagonist and an antagonist, or, as they say in Engligh, a hero and villain :)

If the antagonist is a “real person”, i.e., not a sharknado or disco music, then you need to make sure that you understand your villain.  He may be a son-of-a-bitch to everyone else, but to himself he’s God’s gift to mankind.  When we watch Doctor Who, we know the Cybermen and Daleks are evil, but to Dr. Simeon they’re victims.  It’s crucial for us writers to realize that from the point of view of the villain, the villain is the hero and the hero is the villain, or vice versa in reverse.

One exercise that I like to practice when writing a story is to write an outline from the villain’s perspective.  It gives me a sense of what he wants, how he views life.  This, I think, is crucial to three-dimensional characters and good, solid story, and the reason “The Name of the Doctor” is such a good episode.

That’s all for today.  I had a tooth extracted this week and I feel like warm-over dogshit.

So, until next time,

Peace,

Keith

Copyright (c) 2013 Keith Parker. All Rights Reserved. All trademarks and copyrights are the property of their respective owners and are used for entertainment purposes only and as provided for by the “Fair Use” copyright clause.

CTTO

On By Keith ParkerIn 1960s, Battlestar Galactica, Clocks, Doctor Who, Emotion, Fantasy, Hooks, Horror, Science Fiction, Space: 1999, Star Trek, Television, The Outer Limits, The Twilight Zone, Time Travel, TV12 Comments

KateThis week, The Parker Institute for Time Travel Studies (The PITTS) has asked our Chief Time Travel Officer (CTTO) to look back at his favorite science fiction shows over the years, to include more than just Doctor Who. He was given the choice of time travel devices for this effort, including a TARDIS, a Delorean, a stopwatch, and a hot tub.  Being a button-down preppie type, Parker asked for a BMZ Z4, as we expected. He was dismayed that we had not tailored the Z4 with a flux capacitor, and the weather hasn’t been stormy anyway, so he chose the stopwatch, thinking it looked good with his summer wool trousers (it doesn’t). So, without further ado, our CTTO’s list:

The Twilight Zone:

My favorite episodes are two of the show’s creepiest, “The Hitchhiker” and “Long Distance Call.” I don’t know why I keep one foot in the horror camp, considering how horrible it is there, but since it’s in my tagline (“science fiction, fantasy, horror, history, mystery, whiskey”) I figure I best get with the program, as it were.

Star Trek: The Original Series

This one’s easy. There are three episodes I could watch anytime, anywhere. The original pilot (“The Cage”) with its mysterious cast that wasn’t; Harlan Ellison’s incomparable “City on the Edge of Forever”, which is one of the best romances ever put on the broadcast TV; and the truly testosterone-driven guy episode (“The Doomsday Machine”). “They say there’s no devil, Jim …”

The Outer Limits

“Demon with a Glass Hand” because anything written by Harlan Ellison is superb, and “It Came Out of the Woodwork” because of that one foot in the horror camp thingie (yep, I said thingie … comfortable in my own skin).

Space: 1999

Keeping with the foot-in-horror one more time, this absurdly stupid TV series produced one of the scariest hours of programming ever with “Dragon’s Domain.” It’s the kind of thing that’d keep me up at night if it weren’t for the whole whiskey thing (see tagline, above).  Tentacles. Lots of slimy tentacles.

The X-Files

Gotta go with “Paper Clip” here for its incredible kitchen-sink mix of conspiracies and contemporary mythologies. I need to visit the grassy knoll one day.

The NEW Battlestar Galactica

Did you notice I said new? I’m referring, of course, to the re-imagined series that began in 2003, and not the commode-ringed insult to our intelligence and eyes that came out in the late 70s. Anyway, fave episode? The one titled “33”, hands-down. The whole concept could be made into a novel (note to self).  An attack coming every 33 minutes?  No time to sleep.  No way to even think.  Oh, hell, yes.  Great show!  The original Battlestar Galaxative?  Makes me wanna pour bleach in my eyes.

LOST

There are almost too many to list here, considering it’s one of my favorite shows EVER, but I think I’ll give the nod to “The Constant” when Desmond is jumping back-and-forth between his Army service and modern day, including finding Penny. Another gem is “Through the Looking Glass,” and it’s damn hard to discount the Pilot. There’s something about pilots (which means Jules Winfield and I are on the same page).  There’s a picture of Kate in her underwear above; the purpose of that is eye candy (#shameless #lech).

Firefly

All. Of. Them.  Every damn episode.  “Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle.”

Classic Doctor Who

I haven’t seen as many as I’d like, but for now “City of Death”, penned by the best science fiction humorist ever, Douglas Adams, is never going to be far from the top in my book. Have I ever mentioned just how CUTE Romana is? Oh, yeah, I did. But it’s worth repeating. Also, since she’s not so terribly much older than I perhaps my crush on her is a good bit more acceptable than a crush might be on, say, Jenna-Louise Coleman, who’s probably young enough to be my daughter. I really need to look into using time travel to age backwards.

New Doctor Who

“The Name of the Doctor”.  Despite my sister-in-law’s (sister’s-in-law?) insistence that there’s only one Doctor (David Tennant) the seventh series finale of Doctor Who is a masterpiece of humor, horror, sentimentality, action, adventure and mystery. If the series had never hit a homerun before (it had) they certainly did with this.

And so, back to you …

The PITTS would like to tolerate thank Parker for his insight. His essay has been logged and filed in its proper location: the circular cabinet.

Peace.

Copyright (c) 2013 Keith Parker. All Rights Reserved. All trademarks and copyrights are the property of their respective owners and are used for entertainment purposes only and as provided for by the “Fair Use” copyright clause.

Expansion

On By Keith ParkerIn Science Fiction10 Comments

“Pardon my progess!”

“Here we grow again!”

Meh.  Platitudes.  Point being: The blog’s expanding.  To get fresh meat into cyberspace (especially in this odd interlude between Doctors) I’m going to draw on SFFH (science fiction, fantasy, and horror)  more heavily.   The theme of the blog stays the same, though: I’ll take a snippet from a favorite book or show, and contort it to the point that it’s both unrecognizable and fairly confusing.  I’ll also continue to give my thoughts about everything, the universe, life (42).  If you’re curious (which I doubt) here is a (long) list of material I’ll draw from —

  • Star Trek: The Original Series
  • Doctor Who
  • The Hyperion Cantos by Dan Simmons
  • The weird fiction of Lovecraft, REH, Derleth, Bloch, et al
  • Stephen King
  • The short fiction of Joyce Carol Oates, Neil Gaiman, Ray Bradbury, Harlan Ellison
  • The Foundation Series by Asimov
  • Back to the Future
  • Planet of the Apes
  • LOST
  • Neal Stephenson
  • Firefly and Serenity
  • The reimagined Battlestar Galactica
  • Babylon 5
  • Aliens
  • Forbidden Planet
  • Primer
  • Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
  • Groundhog Day
  • Peggy Sue Got Married
  • Pleasantville
  • Star Trek IV: The One about the Whales
  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  • Slaughterhouse Five.

It’s a weirdly eclectic mix.  But what’d’ya expect from a button-down science fiction fan?

If it has a contemporary setting putting ordinary characters in extraordinary situations, then I’ll love it.  If it has time travel I’ll probably love it, too.  But if it’s dystopian (or has zombies) I’ll hate it.  If it’s too damn weird (or has zombies) I’ll hate it.  If it’s set in outer space with plastic aliens (or zombies) I’ll hate it … unless the characters are freakin’ amazing.  If it has zombies I’ll hate it.

But, I’m not abandoning Doctor Who at all, and just to prove it to you, here are some quotes I’ve collected for my not-famous #DoctorWho QOTD, @keith0363

  • “There’s no point being a grown up if you can’t act childish sometimes.”
  • “You’ve been watching too much television.”
  • “We’re all stories in the end.”
  • “I’m clever, and I’m listening. Now don’t patronise me, ’cause people have died and I’m not happy.”
  • “Always bring a banana to a party, Rose.”
  • “I love humans. Always looking for patterns in things that aren’t there.”

My plan’s to post on Fridays.  Whether I do so weekly or biweekly is up in the air depending on how things go with my novel.

So, until next Friday, peace (but not hair grease) from Keith.

Copyright © 2013

Yabe

On By Keith ParkerIn Creative Writing, Doctor Who, Emotion, Fantasy, Fiction, Science Fiction, Television, Time Travel, TV4 Comments

Screen Shot 2013-09-04 at 7.40.13 PMWelcome to Yabe Auctions!

Ending times are nonnegotiable; condition assumes caveat emptor; quantity to be verified by purchaser, also caveat emptor; Just Buy The Damn Thing prices listed when available.  Current bid is given by the Yabe Auction username.

The following items, culled by the noisome scholars at The Parker Institute of Time Travel Studies (The PITTS), and submitted for distribution through the publishing arm known as Fish and #TARDIS Sauce, have been made available through Yabe Auctions, a wholly owned subsidiary of the Corporation of Redundancy Corporation.

Did we mention caveat emptor?

PSYCHIC PAPER

  • Ending: Anytime you want it to.
  • Condition: Vintage, as used by Second Doctor
  • Quantity: 15 in stock
  • Just Buy the Damn Thing: £ 42
  • Current Bid: Don’t you already know?

TRIBBLE

  • Ending: Aboard Klingon warship
  • Condition: Trilling
  • Quantity: Geometrically increasing
  • Just Buy the Damn Thing: For a Drink
  • Current Bid: <SOLD: Cyrano Jones>

STRANGE WINE

  • Ending: Auction is over
  • Condition: In the sewers
  • Quantity: Overstocked
  • Just Buy the Damn Thing: You already did
  • Current Bid: <SOLD: Hitler, Selling Roses>

1961 FERRARI 250 GT CALIFORNIA

  • Condition: Wiped with diaper
  • Ending: Never
  • Buy It Now: N/A
  • Quantity: <100
  • Current Bid: <Mr. Fry>

K-9, Mark II

  • Condition: Robotic
  • Ending: In e-space
  • Just Buy the Damn Thing: N/A
  • Quantity: One
  • Current Bid: <Romana>

CUSTARD

  • Condition: Spoiled
  • Ending: In the ER
  • Just Buy the Damn Thing: Payment due when services rendered.
  • Quantity: Too much of a good thing.
  • Current Bid: <No bidders>

ISHER WEAPON

  • Condition: A Fine Weapon
  • Ending: When you think you are free
  • Just Buy the Damn Thing: Negotiable, auction only
  • Quantity: Based on market forces, of course
  • Current Bid: <Robert Hedrock, but he has plenty of time to wait>

All sales final

Copyright © 2013 Keith Parker

Christmas

On By Keith ParkerIn Christmas, Creative Writing, Doctor Who, Fantasy, Fiction, Science Fiction, Television, Time Travel, TV2 Comments

globeI love the Doctor Who Christmas specials.  In fact, those episodes tipped the scales when I was deciding whether to invest my time in a program that’s about to be 50-years-old.  But there was simply no way I could shun a program that devotes an hour every December at Christmastime.  I don’t review Doctor Who episodes on my blog; there are plenty of other resources for that on the Internet.  But, for whatever it is worth, my favorite Christmas Special is “The Next Doctor”, which aired in December 2008.  It’s not the most popular of the specials, but it resonates with me.  My favorite Doctor Who episodes are the ones where The Doctor and his Companion stay right here on little ol’ Earth, traveling back to some romantic era of our own past.  And while I’ve never been a fan of the Cybermen, the character of Miss Mercy Hartigan has to be one of the best villains the show has come up with.  She is such a … femme fatale.  You can’t help but to love her and hate her.

Ah, Christmas.  The snow, the icicles, the reindeer.  The gifts!

The Christmas holiday creates its own form of time travel for me.  It takes me back to my childhood days on “The Mountain” here in Huntsville.  If you’ve been there you know what I mean.  We lived in a Federal-style, red-brick house with huge, multi-paned picture windows adorning the front.  Mom and Dad and my brother would get a real tree with real sap, decorate it right after Thanksgiving with colored lights (I prefer white lights now, but I was only a preschooler then), and position it so the folks at the Methodist Church at the end of the block could enjoy it.  And enjoy it they did.  We’d have people dropping by at all hours, wrapped in coats and scarves, bringing us finger foods, homemade breads and (no kidding) fruit cakes.

And while this was during the turbulent late 60s there was an Eisenhower-esque 1950s’ feel to our culture up there then.  I know we were sheltered and naÏve, but isn’t that what home is for?  Life is a complex and painful dance set to music that is often off-key.  Sometimes your feet ache simply from dancing too much.  I look back on those days in wonder: Is there anything wrong with having a comfort zone?  I don’t think there is.

Did the child that I was then — sitting under the tree, chin propped on his hands, eyes bright and glistening from the glow of the Christmas globe hanging from the lowest branch of that stately pine — know there was a TV program in the UK about a time-traveling lunatic who’d still be entertaining us half-a-century later?  Of course not.  That little boy didn’t think he’d even make it till Christmas Eve without bursting.  It was perfect.  It was ideal.  But did it last?  Actually, it did.  Christmastime at the Parkers’ was idyllic, restful and fun, just as a holiday should be.  Christmas has never lost an ounce of its charm, even now, as my beard goes a little gray and I look at life through a jaded prism, because the light through that prism, no matter how attenuated, still glows red and green.  At least it does for me.

Until next time,

Peace, from Keith

Copyright © 2013, Keith Parker

Bummed

On By Keith ParkerIn Creative Writing, Depression, Doctor Who, Emotion, Fantasy, Fiction, Satire, Science Fiction, Television, Time Travel, TV3 Comments

PRESS RELEASE, Trenzalore (14th August) — The Parker Institute for Time Travel Studies (The PITTS) has annouced that it will delay publication of the next issue of its popular Fish and TARDIS Sauce (FATS) newsletter until the staff’s mass lethargy has worn off.  The sadness, first reported in the month following Matt Smith’s retirement from the BBC’s Doctor Who, seems to have become a deep-seated melancholy that has caused FATS employees to seek solace by playing music of Karen Carpenter while sharing Grumpy Cat photos on Facebook.  The PITTS seeks to reassure all employees of its sister organization, and let them know the company’s health care plan will provide counseling, doctor recommendations, and whiskey as needed for self-medication.

Placid Savage, spokeswoman for The PITTS, said the current sadness is not unlike the anguish, grief, and heartache that can be seen on any sensible synonym search for words like sadness.  Savage, in a moment of unusual candor, rebuffed a reporter’s suggestion that running her operation from a graveyard at the end of time might be contributing to low employee morale.  She shrugged. “I don’t know.  Who give a shit?”

This prompted Herb Wells, Chief Technology Officer for Steampunk Technology, to later tweet:

  • The fucking 70s were happier than this! #disco #MoralEquivalentofWar

Wells has been suspended without pay pending a formal review of his communication skills.  He was last seen in College Station, Texas.

Meanwhile, The PITTS cancelled its 2014 plans to test the grandfather paradox and Shrödinger’s Cat experiment until the Institute has had time to consult with Peter Capaldi and Stephen Moffat.

At the time they went to press The PITTS’ calls to Kurt Cobain had gone unanswered.  The PITTS also reached out to Joplain and Morrison, but results have been a real letdown.

Until next time … if there is a next time … peace from Eeyore Keith

Copyright © 2013 Keith Parker.

Confessions

On By Keith ParkerIn Confessions, Doctor Who, Emotion, Romance, Satire, Science Fiction, Television, Time Travel, TV12 Comments

Red TARDISAs a redheaded, red-bearded man in Huntsville I’d be remiss if I didn’t post my own confessions list so Shea Allen doesn’t feel lonely in her pursuit of freedom of expression.

Now, you might rightly ask yourself what any of this has to do with Doctor Who.  And if you were to ask this question you’d be in fine company, because I seem to asking myself the same thing.  But, sometimes stories just write themselves, with a little help from my brain and fingers.

So, without further ado, here are the Top 10 things I have never told any of you before, except, of course, for that crazy guy who stands under the Parkway Bridge screaming, “The end is nigh!  The end is nigh!”

  1. I have gone braless and no one was ever the wiser because, well, I’m a guy …
  2. My best sources are Netflix streaming and Netflix DVDs.  I once spoke to one of their customer-service representatives; I do not know whether she has a crush on me.
  3. I am at my best when collecting a paycheck.
  4. I’ve mastered the ability to sit in a recliner.
  5. I hate the right side of the BBCAmerica/Doctor-Who website. The margin is too narrow.
  6. I hope to be old one day.
  7. Sad, grating, thunderstorm stories about bad things make me depressed.
  8. I have taken naps in my recliner (see # 4).
  9. If you ramble and I deem you unnecessary to furthering my writing career I will seriously question my personal value system, and even if the feeling were genuine I’d never admit it because sometimes honesty is  a thinly-veiled disguise for cruelty and arrogant self-indulgence.
  10. I have never stood under a Parkway Bridge screaming, “The end is nigh!  The end is nigh!”, but if Shea Allen gets rich I may start.

Until next time, keep confessing, keep time-traveling, and don’t panic.  42.

Years truly,

Keith

Copyright © 2013 Keith Parker